Turkey Day Inventions

It is the day after Thanksgiving and I am taking a much needed break from all my various on-going projects. However, while assisting in the kitchen with a variety of Thanksgiving sous-chef duties, I couldn't help but remark at all the inventions that were making my life easier. I decided to think of some of the kitchen inventions that a Pilgrim would have traded a shipment of Belt-buckle hats for.



A hand cranked apple peeler, corer and slicer patented in 1893 (PN # 508,137) would have saved Pilgrims countless man-hours. Giving them more time during the day to pray, not dance, and contemplate their terrifying existence at the edge of the world.


The mixing stand. (PN #2,390,742) No stranger to the denizens of wedding registries the world over, the mixing stand would have saved "Goody" Housewife countless hours of effort and the associated repetitive strain injuries of mashing all manner of root, tuber and vegetable. First patented in 1939, the mixing stand was licensed to A.F. Dormeyer Mfg Co. under the trade-name "Mix-Rite". This "striking" stand-mixer would have freed up plenty of time for Pilgrims to contemplate the high-rate of infant mortality, "Consumption" and vitamin-deficiency related illness endemic to the populace.

The Mechanical Refrigerator (PN # 2,089,851). Also patented in the late 1930's, this invention described the use of fluid (namely Freon) expansion to provide the cooling mechanism to preserve foods. Something that would have aided the Pilgrims greatly. Nothing says pointless effort like spending 3 days to prepare a feast and having most of the left-overs spoil in half that time.




Antibiotics (numerous patents). While not necessarily Thanksgiving specific inventions, Pilgrims would have traded all the muskets and bibles they had for a few doses of modern-day broad spectrum anti-biotic. The accepted statistic is that there were 7 graves dug for every new house built in the early settlement period. Most of these were deaths do to disease and infant mortality, both of which modern medical science has made great strides in minimizing. That is what we should really be thankful for.

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